_avoid-moving-to-duluth-minnesota-unless-you-can-handle-these-5-negatives-preview-1.jpg "AVOID MOVING TO DULUTH MINNESOTA - Unless You Can Handle These 5 NEGATIVES from map counseling duluth Video Screenshot Preview 1")
Gallery_avoid-moving-to-duluth-minnesota-unless-you-can-handle-these-5-negatives-preview-3.jpg "AVOID MOVING TO DULUTH MINNESOTA - Unless You Can Handle These 5 NEGATIVES from map counseling duluth Video Screenshot Preview 3")
Gallery_avoid-moving-to-duluth-minnesota-unless-you-can-handle-these-5-negatives-preview-hqdefault.jpg "AVOID MOVING TO DULUTH MINNESOTA - Unless You Can Handle These 5 NEGATIVES from map counseling duluth Video Screenshot Preview hqdefault")
GalleryPlay Video:
(Note: The default playback of the video is HD VERSION. If your browser is buffering the video slowly, please play the REGULAR MP4 VERSION or Open The Video below for better experience. Thank you!)
Jump To Video Parts
⏲ Duration: 22 minutes 27 seconds
👁 View: 2.2K times
Play Audio:👁 View: 2.2K times
Description:
Living In Duluth Minnesota
Living In Duluth Minnesota
Share with your friends:
Whatsapp | Viber | Telegram | Line | SMS
Email | Twitter | Reddit | Tumblr | Pinterest
_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_minnesota-historia-episode-1-duluth39s-doomed-olympics-bid.webp "PBS North")
_in-search-of-tigh-na-cailleach-with-alison-campsie.webp "After around ten miles on foot through Glen Lyon, the shrine to the powerful Celtic goddess of Cailleach came into view, at last. Amid a shock of May sunshine and a warm wind that blew me along the path by the loch, there it stood in powerful isolation.<br/><br/>To see it there, cradled by the mountains and decorated with recent offerings of fruits, nuts and flowers, was more than worth the walk, which I had daftly extended due to a mishap on the map. By the shrine, the clock on the long, hot day suddenly stopped as hundreds, perhaps thousands, of years of belief and respect for this mythological figure made their presence felt.<br/><br/>Tigh Na Cailleach, or House of the Old Woman, is where the giantess of Celtic folklore is remembered in the place she is said to have lived, bringing great prosperity.")
_university-of-minnesota-duluth-take-a-tour.webp "University of Minnesota Duluth Admissions")
_duluth-parks-an-outdoor-tradition-full-documentary.webp "PBS North")
_92.jpg)
_minnesota-historia-episode-1-duluth39s-doomed-olympics-bid.jpg)
_in-search-of-tigh-na-cailleach-with-alison-campsie.jpg)
_university-of-minnesota-duluth-take-a-tour.jpg)
_duluth-parks-an-outdoor-tradition-full-documentary.jpg)
![[+]](/images/menu.gif){kind=small}